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NEW SOUTH WALES
Losing Time
Monday, 26 October, 2009
Indigenous Australians are currently 13 times more likely than non-Indigenous people to go to prison.
Watch Online: Losing Time
Your Say: What's it like to lose a parent to prison and how do we support families left behind?
Going to jail doesn't just affect the individual; many of those serving sentences are parents who leave their family behind while they serve their sentences.
"It was really hard telling [our daughter] that the policeman had to take her daddy because he was being naughty...she didn't really understand", says Melissa, whose partner Herbert recently spent time in prison.
With a university study researching the impact of a parent's incarceration on their children, video journalist Allan Clarke travelled to regional NSW to speak with reformed offenders about parenting from prison and adapting to family life when they leave jail.
TRANSCRIPT:
VOICEOVER: She's 26, a mother, and lives in the sleepy town of Wellington in central NSW. But Nerrine Stanley's life hasn't always been this stable. In 2007, she spent 6 months in prison for theft, leaving her baby son in the care of her mother. Now, Nerrine has her life back on track, but her partner, Nathaniel's father, is still behind bars.
NERRINE STANLEY: At the start we used to tell him that he was going to see his dad at the doctors, yeah it's grown out of him, he knows it's a jail, he come out with it himself "it a jail, we're going out to jail to see dad" and he's only 3 and I didn't ever want him to know things like this.
VOICEOVER: She vividly remembers visiting her father in prison as a child and being ostracised by her peers, she fears that history could repeat itself for her 3-year-old son Nathanial.
NERRINE STANLEY: That's just something I can't wipe out of his life, something like that, that's happened. He's gonna know about it when he gets older, he might even get tormented at school like I have. I was tormented at school: 'Ah, your dad's in jail', and things like that. It's not a nice lifestyle to live.
VOICEOVER: Nerrine's experiences are shared with other people in her community, and around the country. Earlier this year, father of two Duane Stanley was sent to prison and has barely seen his children since.
DUANE STANLEY: I was ashamed, I didn't want my kids to be ashamed of me. You know when you walk your kids to school? You don't want them to be ashamed, you want them to be proud.
VOICEOVER: Duane gives me a tour of his new home, proudly pointing out the rooms earmarked for his daughters. As the 23-year-old shows me around, it becomes clear that this is much more than a house. For Duane, it represents a new chapter in his life. He's spent much of his life in trouble with the law. Duane says he's focused on making up for lost time with his young children.
DUANE STANLEY: I want her to have a childhood 'cause I never had a childhood. I started smoking pot at 9 or 10 then at 11 or 12 starting smoking gear, on the pot, you know what I mean? Selling drugs and that. I know I'm not the best father, I don't reckon I know everything, I'm just trying to learn, I'm learning as I go along.
VOICEOVER: Over 50 percent of the New South Wales prison population is Indigenous and it's having an impact on children in almost every Koori community state-wide. Griffith University is undertaking a study to determine how imprisonment of a parent affects Aboriginal children. It's the first of its kind.
DR SUSAN DENNISON: The largest study that were looking at is having a father in prison, the reason were doing that is the majority of prisoners are men and yet that's an area that's been really neglected in terms of looking at the role of fathers in prison. To what capacity are they able to be fathers when they're in prison and what impact does that have on the children in terms of development.
VOICEOVER: Leonie Phillips from Barnardos has experienced the physiological damage suffered after losing a parent to the justice system. She believes there's a lack of support programs in regional areas, which could potentially place children at risk of developing low esteem and depression.
LEONIE PHILLIPS: Disconnectedness from the community: they have problems at school, they are often picked on at school because their parents are in jail, they have all those things associated with school, having lunch money at school, being dressed the same as the other kids.
VOICEOVER: Helena Stanley organised parenting workshops in Wellington for Koori parents. A number of the participants have spent time in jail. She says bad parenting practices are often a reflection of the individual's own childhood.
HELENA STANLEY: Once they've done their programs, done their living with love, and seen that you don't talk to your children like that and you have a bit of respect and you don't hit your children, just all the little things that they thought was natural when I was growing up.
VOICEOVER: For years, Herbert Riley's life revolved around drugs. His partner Melissa was left to look after their baby, Shadriqua after he was sent to jail last year. Back at home, Herbert says he's drug-free. But it's been an emotional journey.
MELISSA: It was really hard telling Shadriqua that the policeman had to take her daddy because he was being naughty and she didn't really understand she don't really understand that much.
HERBERT RILEY: That would be my worst fear, if I did relapse, or me daughter grows up and decides to take drugs that will hurt me. I don't want her to go through what I went through
VOICEOVER: It's been 12 months since Herbert was released from prison. He's now getting help to become a better dad.
HERBERT RILEY: I have a lot more confidence. We've changed our life right around, compared to what it was before I went to jail. I was a heavy drug user and drunk a lot of alcohol, now I'm away from the drugs, I have the occasional beer and just know how to speak to her, instead of yelling or smacking her.
VOICEOVER: It's no surprise that babies who've bonded with their parents have better health, social and emotional outcomes. But for these parents, all they can do is try to make up for lost time.
NERRINE STANLEY: All of it, his missed the 4 years of his life. From toilet training him, that's were it really started off, because my dad had to toilet train him 'cause he didn't have his dad there. There's a lot of boy's things I don't know whether I can do or not.
LEONIE PHILLIPS: The attachments aren't formed with the parents like they should be when they're young because they're in jail, and then when their parents get out of jail there's problems because of that lack of attachment, that lack of contact with their parents
VOICEOVER: As authorities await the findings of the study Duane is sending his own message out to other young fathers.
DUANE STANLEY: Anyone out there who's lived a life of crime and about to have kids. If you wanna be there for them you have to start with yourself. You have to make your own life better so you can bring them into it and they can have a good time with ya.
VOICEOVER: And after such a turbulent life, he knows what he's talking about.
Source: Living Black SBS
Watch Online: Losing Time
Your Say: What's it like to lose a parent to prison and how do we support families left behind?
Going to jail doesn't just affect the individual; many of those serving sentences are parents who leave their family behind while they serve their sentences.
"It was really hard telling [our daughter] that the policeman had to take her daddy because he was being naughty...she didn't really understand", says Melissa, whose partner Herbert recently spent time in prison.
With a university study researching the impact of a parent's incarceration on their children, video journalist Allan Clarke travelled to regional NSW to speak with reformed offenders about parenting from prison and adapting to family life when they leave jail.
TRANSCRIPT:
VOICEOVER: She's 26, a mother, and lives in the sleepy town of Wellington in central NSW. But Nerrine Stanley's life hasn't always been this stable. In 2007, she spent 6 months in prison for theft, leaving her baby son in the care of her mother. Now, Nerrine has her life back on track, but her partner, Nathaniel's father, is still behind bars.
NERRINE STANLEY: At the start we used to tell him that he was going to see his dad at the doctors, yeah it's grown out of him, he knows it's a jail, he come out with it himself "it a jail, we're going out to jail to see dad" and he's only 3 and I didn't ever want him to know things like this.
VOICEOVER: She vividly remembers visiting her father in prison as a child and being ostracised by her peers, she fears that history could repeat itself for her 3-year-old son Nathanial.
NERRINE STANLEY: That's just something I can't wipe out of his life, something like that, that's happened. He's gonna know about it when he gets older, he might even get tormented at school like I have. I was tormented at school: 'Ah, your dad's in jail', and things like that. It's not a nice lifestyle to live.
VOICEOVER: Nerrine's experiences are shared with other people in her community, and around the country. Earlier this year, father of two Duane Stanley was sent to prison and has barely seen his children since.
DUANE STANLEY: I was ashamed, I didn't want my kids to be ashamed of me. You know when you walk your kids to school? You don't want them to be ashamed, you want them to be proud.
VOICEOVER: Duane gives me a tour of his new home, proudly pointing out the rooms earmarked for his daughters. As the 23-year-old shows me around, it becomes clear that this is much more than a house. For Duane, it represents a new chapter in his life. He's spent much of his life in trouble with the law. Duane says he's focused on making up for lost time with his young children.
DUANE STANLEY: I want her to have a childhood 'cause I never had a childhood. I started smoking pot at 9 or 10 then at 11 or 12 starting smoking gear, on the pot, you know what I mean? Selling drugs and that. I know I'm not the best father, I don't reckon I know everything, I'm just trying to learn, I'm learning as I go along.
VOICEOVER: Over 50 percent of the New South Wales prison population is Indigenous and it's having an impact on children in almost every Koori community state-wide. Griffith University is undertaking a study to determine how imprisonment of a parent affects Aboriginal children. It's the first of its kind.
DR SUSAN DENNISON: The largest study that were looking at is having a father in prison, the reason were doing that is the majority of prisoners are men and yet that's an area that's been really neglected in terms of looking at the role of fathers in prison. To what capacity are they able to be fathers when they're in prison and what impact does that have on the children in terms of development.
VOICEOVER: Leonie Phillips from Barnardos has experienced the physiological damage suffered after losing a parent to the justice system. She believes there's a lack of support programs in regional areas, which could potentially place children at risk of developing low esteem and depression.
LEONIE PHILLIPS: Disconnectedness from the community: they have problems at school, they are often picked on at school because their parents are in jail, they have all those things associated with school, having lunch money at school, being dressed the same as the other kids.
VOICEOVER: Helena Stanley organised parenting workshops in Wellington for Koori parents. A number of the participants have spent time in jail. She says bad parenting practices are often a reflection of the individual's own childhood.
HELENA STANLEY: Once they've done their programs, done their living with love, and seen that you don't talk to your children like that and you have a bit of respect and you don't hit your children, just all the little things that they thought was natural when I was growing up.
VOICEOVER: For years, Herbert Riley's life revolved around drugs. His partner Melissa was left to look after their baby, Shadriqua after he was sent to jail last year. Back at home, Herbert says he's drug-free. But it's been an emotional journey.
MELISSA: It was really hard telling Shadriqua that the policeman had to take her daddy because he was being naughty and she didn't really understand she don't really understand that much.
HERBERT RILEY: That would be my worst fear, if I did relapse, or me daughter grows up and decides to take drugs that will hurt me. I don't want her to go through what I went through
VOICEOVER: It's been 12 months since Herbert was released from prison. He's now getting help to become a better dad.
HERBERT RILEY: I have a lot more confidence. We've changed our life right around, compared to what it was before I went to jail. I was a heavy drug user and drunk a lot of alcohol, now I'm away from the drugs, I have the occasional beer and just know how to speak to her, instead of yelling or smacking her.
VOICEOVER: It's no surprise that babies who've bonded with their parents have better health, social and emotional outcomes. But for these parents, all they can do is try to make up for lost time.
NERRINE STANLEY: All of it, his missed the 4 years of his life. From toilet training him, that's were it really started off, because my dad had to toilet train him 'cause he didn't have his dad there. There's a lot of boy's things I don't know whether I can do or not.
LEONIE PHILLIPS: The attachments aren't formed with the parents like they should be when they're young because they're in jail, and then when their parents get out of jail there's problems because of that lack of attachment, that lack of contact with their parents
VOICEOVER: As authorities await the findings of the study Duane is sending his own message out to other young fathers.
DUANE STANLEY: Anyone out there who's lived a life of crime and about to have kids. If you wanna be there for them you have to start with yourself. You have to make your own life better so you can bring them into it and they can have a good time with ya.
VOICEOVER: And after such a turbulent life, he knows what he's talking about.
Source: Living Black SBS
